How do I know if I have unresolved trauma?

How Do I Know if I Have Unresolved Trauma?

Unresolved trauma can show up as anxiety, irritability, anger, difficulty in relationships, or persistent low self-worth. While these experiences don't always mean trauma is the cause, they can be signs that past experiences are still affecting your present life.

Why does emotional dysregulation suggest trauma?

You may have heard about the impact of trauma and be wondering if past experiences are still affecting you. Perhaps you aren’t in extreme distress but are still wondering if something is holding you back. Trauma can often show up in unexpected ways. It doesn’t always look like PTSD flashbacks and night terrors. Here are a few key ways unresolved trauma can show up and how to address it.

Our brains are wired to help us survive. When something dangerous happens to you, your brain wants to remember so it doesn’t happen again. For example, if you burn your hand on a pan, you’ll remember that pan handle gets hot. Obviously, this can be an incredibly helpful adaptation.

Feelings of anxiety can be our brain’s way of warning us of danger. Some anxiety is healthy, but unresolved trauma can contribute to excessive distress. This might look like nonstop worrying or being “jumpy” or on edge. Anxiety can also include physical symptoms, like heart palpitations and shallow breathing. Anxiety may involve poor sleep or nightmares.

Irritability and anger are related to anxiety and potential unresolved trauma. For some people, anger becomes a protective response that helps them cope with feelings of fear or vulnerability. Ultimately, angry reactions are a way of trying to keep ourselves safe. But often anger can lead to rocky communication in relationships.

How can relationship problems imply trauma?

Emotional dysregulation and relationship problems are intertwined. You can relate to this if you have ever lost your temper in a conversation and found a situation escalating. Perhaps it was with a romantic partner or even your boss. Sadly, you often don’t get what you want from an interaction when anger gets in the way.

Other relationship troubles are common in people with unaddressed trauma. This is because so many forms of trauma are interpersonal. Perhaps you have poor boundaries and difficulty standing up for yourself. Or maybe you have “trust issues” and withdraw from intimacy. Difficulty connecting with others can take many forms in people who have been hurt in past relationships.

How is trauma connected to poor self-image?

Another potential sign of unresolved trauma is poor self-worth. Trauma can impact the way we see ourselves. Many trauma survivors blame themselves for the trauma they have been through. This can lead to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and the absence of self-compassion.

It’s important to note that the problems listed above are not necessarily rooted in trauma. We can't assume every person with emotional regulation or relationship challenges has PTSD. For example, anxiety is sometimes due to underlying medical issues. However, it can be helpful to reflect on how your past influences your present.

Signs of trauma you may notice:

· Anxiety

· Excessive worry

· Hypervigilance- feeling “jumpy” or “on edge”

· Anger

· Irritability

· Poor boundaries

· Difficulty trusting others

· Poor self-worth

· Negative beliefs about self

· Low self-esteem

· Poor sense of confidence

· Lack of self-compassion

What can help if you have unresolved trauma?

As we have seen, anxiety and anger are two major signs of unhealed trauma. So, skills for regulating emotions can be useful. One of the best ways to tell your brain “I am safe” is by breathing. Here is a simple breathing exercise for when feeling intense emotions. Make your exhales twice as long as your inhales. So if you inhale for 6 seconds, try to draw out your exhale to 12 second.

Mindfulness practices can also be helpful for people with unresolved trauma. Identifying what you are feeling and thinking can be empowering. For example, you could practice a “leaves on a stream” exercise. This is where you picture your thoughts as leaves flowing down a stream. You are simply noticing them- not trying to change them or get rid of them. For some people with trauma, meditation can be triggering. If you suspect you're one of those people, it can be helpful to consult with a mental health professional.

We've also identified relational difficulties as a potential trauma response. It can be useful to notice when things are getting escalated in a conversation. That's where those mindfulness skills can come in handy! When things are getting escalated, it can be helpful to take a time out. This is some time to yourself to regulate your emotions. It can prevent you from saying or doing something you might regret. In romantic relationships, it can be helpful to develop a time out policy when things are calm. That way, you already have a plan in place for when tensions arise.

When should you consider trauma therapy?

If you're having trouble managing symptoms on your own, it's time to consider therapy. Maybe you've tried coping skills from online with no results. This can be a sign more support would help. Another helpful thing to consider is functioning. Are you having trouble meeting your work, school, or family responsibilities? If the answer is yes, it's a good time to reach out to a therapist.

It’s also ok to consult with a therapist if you’re still unsure if you have unresolved trauma. A good therapist will assess you and provide information on suitable treatment options. Lastly, if you want someone to walk alongside you on your healing journey, this is enough to seek support.

Having trauma symptoms doesn’t mean you’re always going to feel this way. Our bodies and minds are able to adapt. Healthy coping skills, wholesome relationships, and trauma therapy can help you heal and rediscover yourself.

FAQs

• What are signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults?

  Emotional regulation issues can be signs of childhood trauma in adults. Examples of emotional regulation issues include unchecked anxiety or anger. Lack of healthy relationships or difficulty maintaining relationships is another sign. Childhood trauma may be more likely to go unresolved since time has passed. Sometimes childhood trauma can even be difficult to identify on your own. It can be helpful to work with a therapist to reflect on how your childhood has shaped you.

• What are signs of unresolved trauma in men?

  Men are generally less likely to show anxiety and more likely to show irritation and anger. This is a result of socialization differences between genders. While this is true at a population level, each person’s trauma reactions are unique. If you or a man in your life may have trauma, you can always contact a therapist for an assessment.

• What are examples of unresolved trauma?

  One example would be if you have had constant, low-level anxiety for as long as you can remember. It feels like more things trigger your anxiety than make you feel calm. Let's also consider the relational side. An example here would be if you found all your romantic relationships have failed because it is hard for you to be vulnerable. Active trauma could underly both these experiences.

This article is intended for educational purposes and isn't a substitute for an individual assessment. If you're wondering whether trauma may be affecting you, a qualified mental health professional can help you explore your experiences in the context of your own history.