Couples therapy in hayes valley sf
Healing Your Relationship Is Possible.
Disconnection is painful.
Can you relate?
It feels like your partner doesn’t understand you.
You have difficulty communicating your needs in your relationship.
It seems like you are arguing about every little thing.
You can’t get on the same page to make decisions.
“The drama of love is all about this hunger for safe emotional connection, a survival imperative we experience from the cradle to the grave. Loving connection is the only safety nature ever offers us.”
About Couples Therapy in Hayes Valley, San Francisco, CA.
We are born into an unpredictable world where we cannot always control what happens to us or how we are cared for. Imagine the last time you saw a baby- pretty helpless, right? When we are young, we are dependent on our caretakers for all our needs. Attachment refers to the emotional bond between infants and parents or other caregivers.
There are several different attachment styles. Secure attachment develops when our caregivers are attuned to our needs. When there is a mismatch between the care we need and the care we get, our minds must adapt to cope with this. This is how anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles develop.
Attachment difficulties look like difficulty regulating emotions and communicating with caregivers. Children with anxious attachment might display excessive crying or tantrums. Avoidant attachment might look like a child withdrawing from others. Children with disorganized attachment display a combination of these characteristics.
Our attachment styles can follow us into adulthood and can impact our romantic relationships. For example, we have all heard of the “clingy” girlfriend who won’t let her boyfriend go anywhere without her. This is a sign of anxious attachment, with an underlying attachment need to know her partner is not going to leave her.
For people who have experienced trauma, these issues can be more pronounced. This trauma could be from childhood abuse or neglect. It could also be from difficult experiences in previous romantic relationships. Many people find it difficult to trust again after experiencing hurt. Because you may not even remember some of these hurts, you may find your emotions confusing.
Spoiler alert: most conflicts in relationships are not actually about whose turn it is to do the dishes. They are about underlying attachment needs. Couples can get stuck in negative patterns of communicating due to differing attachment styles. Over time, this can lead to walls going up and difficulty being vulnerable with each other.
But that does not need to be the end of the story. That’s where your local Hayes Valley couples therapist comes in.
My Approach to Couples Therapy in Hayes Valley.
Imagine not getting stuck in the same old arguments? Or at least being able to untangle yourselves faster when the inevitable miscommunication occurs? Imagine understanding your partner’s attachment needs? You would be feeling more intimate than ever before. You would be helping each other become your best selves.
I use Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFcT) to help you go from focusing on what you are arguing about to how you are arguing about it. We will identify harmful patterns playing out in your relationship.
Underlying these patterns are often painful emotions. Relationship therapy in Hayes Valley will provide a safe space for you to share your emotions and needs with your partner. Developing a secure attachment is the first step in this process. Afterwards, solving dilemmas in your relationship becomes much easier.
Intimacy is foundational to overall health and wellbeing. I’m dedicated to helping you foster this in your relationship. If ready you’re to heal, contact me to schedule a free consultation.
ABOUT KARINA WESTRICK, LPCC
Hi, my name is Karina, and I’m a couples therapist in the Hayes Valley neighborhood of San Francisco. Being at odds with your partner can make you feel isolated, but you are not alone. I understand the ways couples get stuck in negative cycles.
We are all wired for connection, sometimes you just need a safe space to repair your relationship. Therapy provides guidance and new perspectives. If you and your partner are ready to start your healing journey, schedule a complimentary consultation today.
Getting Started Is Easy
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Book a free 15 minute consultation.
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Schedule a time for your first session.
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Begin therapy, start healing!
Hayes Valley Couples Therapy FAQS
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This depends on your unique needs and preferences. The couples therapy I provide in Hayes Valley is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFcT). This therapy is 70% effective in reducing symptoms.
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Yes, couples therapy is usually covered by insurance. I am currently in-network with United Healthcare and Aetna. Both plans cover couples therapy.
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Yes! I greatly enjoy my work with LGBTQ+ couples. I also provide couples therapy to couples with non-traditional relationship structures. This includes couples practicing polyamory and ethical non-monogamy (ENM). Lastly, I specialize in providing childfree-affirming couples therapy.
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In the beginning of our work together, I’ll ask lots of questions about your childhood and relationship history. This is important for conceptualizing your attachment style.
Later in therapy, we will choose a moment from the past week where there was an argument or miscommunication. Typically, I will focus on one partner during the session, learning more about their experience and feelings around the event. Then, I will help that person communicate this information to their partner. Lastly, we’ll all reflect on what that experience was like.
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How long couples therapy lasts depends on many factors, especially the trauma histories of both partners. That said, EFcT was designed as a short-term approach, typically covering 8-20 weekly sessions.
